Hey Artist,
I don't know if I've been getting too much work done and my self sabotage is kicking into overdrive; but some of my internal voices are telling me I'm garbage.
Not necessarily the art, but everything. If I had any value as a human, a husband, a father; I would be better than I am by now.
It's not specific, and I think that's it's power. I reread a script I wrote today, it actually flowed pretty well. I am making specific progress, but there's still a voice saying that it's not enough.
And that's how I know it's bullshit. If it were about something specific, I could correct it; but my inner saboteur knows I'm in a handyman mood, so it just whispers to drive away my confidence.
I wish I knew how to eject that voice from my soul. Make peace with it, or whatever; but today is not that day.
No, today is the day that I do my work anyway. It usually calms the voices down.
But if you are feeling like shit, and that everything you do is shit, fine. Don' t waste time arguing with your inner voice, just make something. Make something shitty. Who gives a fuck? Make garbage. Make shitty art. worst case? You chuck it in the trash after. More likely, you make something that you can polish later. Or you might just make something magical.
To paraphrase the Neil Gaiman speech: "Make Shitty Art".
Thanks for reading my Diatribe. And thanks for being an artist.
Edward